Dealing with Inappropriate Comments from Children

There are a lot of cases when parents have to deal with inappropriate comments from children. Let me explain how to manage this kind of phrase in the real situation. My client was at the doctor's office with her 3-year-old when a hefty man and his children walked by. Her daughter roared, "That man's fat!"

She was mortified and immediately pulled her into an examining room and explained that it was not OK to say that kind of thing in front of someone. So how should she have handled this, and how can she prevent her from doing something like that again?

There probably isn't a parent alive who hasn't been embarrassed by something their young child blurted out. (I'll never forget a trip to the grocery store when my son said, "Mommy, that man's going to have a baby!" I wanted to sink through the floor.)

Immediate correction

She did the right thing by pulling her daughter aside right away and letting her know her comment was inappropriate. With young children, immediate correction is the only way they connect your teaching to their behaviour.

But you probably also know that it will take time for your children to learn this lesson. Young children are, by nature, impulsive. Without the internal censor that develops as they mature, they say whatever pops into their heads.

At 3, a child is only beginning to learn the effect her words have on others. She doesn't yet think naturally or easily about how others perceive her actions. It takes maturity and parental guidance for perspective-taking to develop.

Several things to do

1. Explain in simple language

Gently and correct your child when she says something likely to hurt or embarrass. As you did in this situation, take your child aside right way and explain in simple language that the other person might feel sad or hurt by what she said.

2. Ask about feelings

To help your child better understand the link between her words and others' feelings, ask her to think about how she feels when someone says something wrong about her. Teach her the concept "words can hurt." And help her learn to use her words gently.

3. Develop an appreciation

Please help your child develop an appreciation of individual differences among people, recognizing the beauty and worth of all people. However, they look. For example, choose books and videos that know diversity and avoid harmful stereotypes based on physical appearance.

4. Control your actions

Be conscious of the messages you and other family members convey through your own words and actions. Over time, your child will see how you value people of all sizes and shapes, and she will learn to do the same.

5. Look after your child

Sometimes you can be surprised with the words your child can say, but you have to be ready to deal with them. It is easy to do so if you know how to speak to your children.

In this case, you have to select appropriate words and explain how a person feels hearing this kind of words. Besides, you should control your actions to develop a child's appreciation of individual differences.

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