How Do You Divorce A Narcissist?

Getting divorced is difficult enough as it is, but divorcing a narcissist can add a whole new level of complication. A true narcissist lacks emotional empathy and doesn't feel other emotions the way a non-narcissist does.

They also tend to be very good at playing the part people expect of them, so narcissists will often appear genuine in their emotions and arguments. These partners can often be vindictive, and you will need to secure the services of someone that knows the law and can help you enforce your rights.

It's always best to speak to a locally based firm that is familiar with the court system and has experience in processing cases like yours. If you're based in Houston, for example, it would be best to contact a family lawyer in Houston, Texas, for help if you're divorcing a narcissist.

Divorcing a Narcissist: Top 6 Tips from a Family Lawyer

Once you have reliable legal counsel, you might also want to consider the following tips.

Prepare Everything in Advance

Narcissists are excellent manipulators. They're often very good actors, and they get to know their victims/partners intimately. If your spouse finds out that you're filing for divorce, then they'll typically do everything they can to stop you. They may act completely devastated and promise you they'll change. They might love-bomb you to make you think you're making a mistake by divorcing them.

If you've decided to divorce your narcissistic partner, then prepare all of your documents and hire a lawyer before letting your partner know that you're filing for divorce. You should also create a safety plan to keep you and your children (if any) safe, as a violent, narcissistic partner may lash out when they realize you are really going to leave them.

Click here to get in touch with a divorce attorney so you can get your plan in motion ASAP.

Keep Proof of Everything

Narcissists are generally excellent liars.

They tend to be good judges of character, too, so it's easier for them to figure out how to get people to believe their untruths. And, if you've been married to a narcissist, then chances are your partner knows you very well and therefore knows what tactics will get you defensive and riled up, making you look like the bad guy.

Protect the truth as much as you possibly can. Keep copies of every text, email, and letter. Keep copies of diary entries where you've written about your partner's narcissistic abuse. If you have a fight where their narcissistic abuse comes out, write down what happened afterwards and add the time and date. Keep copies of every single piece of evidence you have to try and protect yourself if your partner starts lying.

Have a Support System

Anyone going through a divorce needs a support system to help keep them supported and stable during this difficult time. However, if you're divorcing somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then you may be having a tougher time than the average person going through this situation. You need a strong support system of people who care about you and want the best for you.

Bear in mind that you shouldn't tell your support system any of the details of what's going on in your divorce. That should be kept between you and your attorney. However, just having somebody to be there for you at the end of the day will be hugely beneficial for your mental health.

Consult a Knowledgeable Attorney

Your attorney must understand that your spouse is a narcissist and that this process is probably going to be more difficult than average. Talk to your attorney about your spouse's narcissistic tendencies. Discuss the usual tactics your spouse uses to manipulate you and your family. Knowing what you've been facing may help your attorney build you a stronger divorce case, and it may prepare them for what they're going to face from your spouse's side.

Know that your attorney can't repeat anything you tell them, so you're safe to confide in them. Your attorney can only use information to support your case if you're comfortable letting them use that information. Finding an understanding, compassionate attorney is key when you're trying to divorce somebody with NPD.

Speak to Witnesses

Ask your friends and family to give testimonies against your narcissistic partner if possible. People who've witnessed your spouse's narcissistic abuse will usually make very good witnesses. Witness testimonies may help show what kind of person your partner is, which could be very helpful to your case.

Let Your Children Open Up

It's best to keep children out of a divorce. They shouldn't need to speak to your attorney, and they shouldn't be present in the courtroom if your divorce must go to trial.

However, a child over 12 may take a private meeting with the court to discuss their experience and wishes regarding custody. Even if your child doesn't wish to speak to the court, it's vital you let them open up to you during this difficult time. Make them feel heard and supported.

Divorcing a narcissist can be difficult and draining, but working with a knowledgeable attorney and being well-prepared may help you. Listen to your attorney's advice, protect yourself as much as you can, and remember to stay strong.

You can and will get through this.

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