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How to Avoid Toxic People In Your Social Circle

20 August 2020 | 0 comments | Posted by Ashley Simmons in Mind, Body & Soul

how to deal with toxic people

A toxic person is someone who spreads negativity through words and actions. People who victimise themselves, lie, and gaslight are considered to be toxic. They hurt others by taking advantage of people’s compassion and affection. Unfortunately, toxic behaviour is common among people of all ages, and you might have at least one in your life.

But how do you eliminate them from your life? How do you go about finding a peaceful resolution when they remain combative and how do you know when enough is enough? In this article, you’ll find useful ways to avoid toxic people in your social circle.

1. Don’t be their shoulder to cry on

Toxic people often victimise themselves and make it seem like the world is against them. They can be your friend, coworker, or family member. They’re complaining and always in some crisis.

A good friend might try to support them and be the shoulder to cry on in times of need. However, what you’re doing is wasting your emotional and mental energy on someone who tries to manipulate you and get your attention.

If they get into a fight and start to become aggressive, walk away. Don’t collect their emotional negativity; it’s not your duty.

2. Stop trying to fix them

People can’t change other people. If you want to improve yourself, you need to want it badly. Any attempt to force you is pointless.

This is especially true for toxic individuals because they only seek attention. They don’t want to change for anyone, not even for themselves, as they don’t think that anything’s wrong.

The sooner you realise that they’re going to stay the same, the easier you can move on with your own life.

3. Forget about them

A healthy person will keep thinking about the other’s problems, even after leaving the toxic relationship with them.

This is normal behaviour. Your mind is making sense of all the chaos that the toxic person brought in. So, you reflect on your past.

Nevertheless, you have to forget about them and to start thinking about your life. Otherwise, you’ll get frustrated and miserable thinking about the issues of that toxic person.

Remember that many problems of a toxic individual are made-up or exaggerated.

4. Set boundaries

Toxic people like to invade your life with their negativity. They try to take advantage of your personal space so they can manipulate you better. Also, they might push you to make sacrifices and to give more than you receive.

For example, suppose you work at an accounting agency or as a freelancer. A toxic person will comment on your work, and they will push you to change your occupation for them to get more attention, money, or status from you.

Set boundaries and don’t let them take hold of you. Learn to say no to their requests and move forward.

5. Please don't fall into their traps

Toxic people will start a fight with you for attention and to victimise themselves. If they feel like they need more attention, they begin to attack people around them in hopes of a response.

Try to ignore them and leave the room. This way, you show them that you have self-control and that you can’t be manipulated. So, when they understood that they couldn’t give them attention, they might leave you alone.

6. Don’t listen to their projections

Toxic people are in a war with themselves. They can’t accept some aspects of their identity, and that frustrates them. As a result, they start projecting their insecurities onto others.

For example, they may make fun of your weight, looks, occupations, clothes, and other superficial elements.

So, next time they try to attack you, remember that they’re just trying to reflect their self-hatred onto you.

7. Accept and better yourself

Toxic people will belittle you and make you feel like your insecurities define you and your life. They use your flaws to control you. So, to prevent that, you need to accept yourself as you are, even if that toxic person is trying to make you feel awful about them.

You can try to better yourself where it matters to you, but remember that toxic people project many of their flaws onto other people because they are obsessed with them.

Remember your strengths and achievements, and don’t mind their subjective criticism.

8. Use their weapons against them when needed

If they try to engage in a fight with you, let them be with their anger and distance yourself.

Nevertheless, if they won’t leave you alone, you might need to use their weapons to make them stop. Address their manipulation and projection, and they’ll eventually back down because they understand that you know their tricks.

This is only for emergencies. The best way to cope with a toxic situation is to let that person go and never give in their tantrums.

9. Focus on the healthy people in your life

After a toxic relationship, go to the people who support you and have your back. Look for the calm and peaceful ones who can share positivity. Then, in the future, these healthy relationships will act as a guideline for the next friendships.

Conclusion

If you want to cope with toxic people, try not to engage with them. Forget about them and stop trying to fix them. Remember that they want attention and control over other people. Finally, favour relationships that are healthy for you.

About the author

Ashley Simmons is a freelancer who works for a dissertation help service. She is also a blogger who specialised in psychology, social studies, and science topics. When she’s not writing, Ashley loves to meditate, paint, and sing.

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